9 Lessons Learned from IRL Check-Ins What To Do (& Not)

Author: Lisa Greenfield Pearl

Snell & Wilmer, Attorney Development Manager

Introduction:

Our Attorney Development team at Snell & Wilmer recognizes the value of holding regular 1:1 development focused conversations with associates. We have found that these interactions are more authentic and meaningful when conducted in person; as a result, we have steered them that way. Based on my “irl” associate check-ins, I am pleased to share with you these takeaways.

2. Plan the Path, but Get Sidetracked

Plan ahead: know who you’re talking to. Be aware of basics like the associate’s year, practice group (and practice group leaders), and assigned mentors or allies (and their practice areas). Your preparation shows respect for the busy associate you are talking to as well as to yourself—it allows you to reach the important discussion items quicker.

Additionally, know your outcomes. What are you hoping to find out during the conversation that can help you and your team support the associate’s professional development?  Do you want to know about workflow, the quality of their official and unofficial mentor relationships, their comfort with delegating work, or something else? Keeping the outcomes in mind will lend a structure to your conversation that can guide you and serve as a guardrail if you feel you are veering off course into unhelpful territory.

Caveat: Let the conversation naturally flow with the twists and turns of typical interactions. Stay engaged in the moment rather than being distracted by your roadmap. Recognize that allowing for spontaneity often helps you achieve your outcomes.

 2. Listen More, Talk Less

This tip is the longest because it is without a doubt the most significant. Expert communicators share the characteristic of being able to deeply listen to others. While listening has been the subject of much study, I have found that when I am fully listening, I gather from my conversation partner’s words: concrete meaning, cues for my next questions, and intuitive information. Resist downplaying the role intuition can play in helping guide you in understanding and uncovering others’ thoughts and feelings. You may even find that your ability to pay attention to this sixth sense directly correlates with the success of your check-ins.

When listening, we (obviously) stop speaking and stay quiet. When you are quiet, you generously give the other person conversation space, encouraging that person to speak and share. And after all, your big picture purpose for the check-in is to find out how you can professionally support the associate—hearing from them is the direct route to achieving that goal.

Caveat: Share (within limits) when asked or when appropriate. If you share, your conversation partner will too. Recently, after telling her professional backstory, an associate asked me for mine. I gladly shared this information knowing that relationships, even professional ones, go two ways and that sharing could only help foster trust between us.

Despite my best intent, the harsh light of self-reflection at times reveals a tendency to babble. I have drawn a link between those moments and feeling responsible for proving my value with answers or advice (that no one was necessarily seeking by the way). Going back to tip #1 and reminding myself of my outcomes for the interaction helps quiet me and return to a more productive conversation path.

3. Ask, Don’t Assume

Ask questions. Be curious. Be careful not to take shortcuts by assuming facts about someone. Often facts will be wildly different than you supposed. Avoid yes/no questions in favor of questions requiring thoughtful, explored replies. For example,

• Instead of, “Do you feel supported by our team as you seek to meet your professional goals?” Ask, “How can our team best support you as you seek to meet your professional goals?”
• Instead of, “Are you effective at delegating work?” Ask, “What about delegating work is challenging for you?”
• Instead of, “Would you like to be more integrated into firm life?” Ask, “In what ways would you like to be more integrated into firm life?”
• Instead of, “Have you confronted challenges in your practice?” Ask, “What are you finding to be your greatest practice challenges?”
• Instead of, “Do you understand the promotion opportunities at the firm?” Ask, “What additional information do you need to understand the promotion opportunities at the firm?”

4. Write Notes, not a Novel

All your listening and asking will certainly result in a meaty conversation. My Attorney Development colleagues Felicia Ho and Leann Steele suggest figuring out a notetaking system that works for you given the context for your conversations, which is not an evaluation or interview. Copiously notetaking may distract you from fully being “in” conversation mode and be off-putting to the associate. At the same time, you will want to keep a record of your conversations for firm purposes, to jog your memory the next time you interact with the associate, and to remind you of action items.

5. Handshake, not Hug

When carrying out our role of fostering professional success, attorneys confide in us and enjoy an interested, non-judgmental conversation partner. The nature of these interactions can result in creating bonds. Express warmth toward the associates you feel connected to in your firm in many ways, e.g., with your kind eyes or smile, but withhold too much physical affection for obvious reasons.

Similarly, avoid drifting into overly personal conversation. While we care about the well-being of the whole associate—and not just the part that practices law (in Severance fashion)—digging too deep into the associate’s life outside of work is neither appropriate nor productive.

6. Talk Substance in the Office, not the Hall

Keep “water cooler” banter innocuous. Avoid talking with an associate about anything substantive or personal (related to the associate) in the hall or other common spaces in the office where you could inadvertently breach a confidence or encourage gossip.

Be especially careful about an issue the associate may be sensitive about, even if you would raise that issue with anyone and the issue would be neutral for many people. For instance, generally in a busy law firm, it would be fine to say, “Great, I am glad to hear that!” to any given attorney once the attorney lets you know they have a comfortably full plate (of work). Nevertheless, this seemingly harmless reply could land awkwardly for an associate, and everyone within earshot, if said to an associate known to have had trouble with workflow.

7. Encourage Trust, not Gossip

While talking in a generic sense with an associate about issues discussed with another associate is fine, be sure to anonymize the information you share. Avoid saying to Annie Associate, “Andy Associate also is looking to be put on more cases.” Or even, “Andy Associate’s vacation plans sound spectacular. You should ask about them!”

This advice stands even if you are referring to something minor or even if Annie and Andy are good friends and Andy is likely to inform Annie anyway—because this pointer is about gossip, not necessarily confidentiality. Although you probably do not want to promise a confidential conversation, the associates have a right to expect you won’t tell all. You will lose their trust if they think you will and then the point of the check-ins is lost, as you may no longer be privy to authentic exchanges.

8. Book, Don’t Overbook

Know your limits when scheduling meetings. Especially when traveling to other offices and faced with a long list of attorneys to meet, you may be tempted to want to accomplish as many check-ins as there is time in the day. But no one will get their “money’s worth” if you are too spent to effectively conduct meetings.

I suggest capping scheduled meetings at five or six in a single workday. This approach should leave time to add in spontaneous conversations with other attorneys, for instance, associates you’d like to circle back with or partners who have leadership positions or who supervise the associates you are meeting.

9. Follow Up, Don’t Flake Out

After every check-in, identify whether you have action items, such as helping the associate connect with partners for workflow purposes, reporting back to the practice group about training needs, re-thinking mentor relationships, calling supervising attorneys for their feedback on the associate’s progress, or researching various resources to send to the associate. Take these actions within a reasonable time after the meeting to close the circle and make sure that your well-intentioned check-in has “irl” results.

Opinions expressed are those of the author and not necessarily the firm or their colleagues.