If Feedback Is Fuel, Being Coachable Is the Spark
Author: Monica Parker, Founder of Fluency at Work
I had the pleasure of leading the PDC webinar “Flipping the Script: What If We Taught Associates How to Receive Feedback Rather Than Teaching Partners How to Deliver It?” back in May with Kristy Weathers and Lori Broderick of Eversheds Sutherland. The conversation was rich, but Kristy in particular offered up some insights that still stick with me.
Here are three of her best gems—and how you can use them to fuel your own development.
💎 Gem #1: “Your reputation for being coachable is critical.”
“If you’re known for seeking feedback and making changes,” Kristy said, “people will support you—not just at your current firm, but throughout your career.”
So what does being coachable look like? Here’s what I’ve seen from those who do it well:
- They listen intently when given feedback.
- They ask for examples; they ask follow-up questions to clarify.
- They take notes (yes, really).
- And then—they actually do something with the feedback.
They reflect, they implement, and they check back in to confirm they’re on track.
It’s easier, of course, to explain away feedback or question the giver’s motives. I’ve done all of that. But now I ask myself: Even if I don’t love the way this is being said, is there a kernel of truth I can use?
If I’m honest, there usually is. And when I act on it, I get better. Every time.
💎 Gem #2: “Want better feedback? Ask: What’s one thing I could do to make your life easier?”
The classic question—“Do you have any feedback for me?”—can stop people in their tracks. It’s vague, and people often don’t know where to start.
But “What’s one thing I could do to make your life easier?” That’s specific. Inviting. And let’s be real—if you ask it, you’ll probably get more than one thing.
Don’t take it personally. The person is just excited someone actually wants feedback.
Then, of course, you have to implement it. That’s what builds trust.
Bonus: Seeking feedback comes with major benefits.
In Thanks for the Feedback, authors Sheila Heen and Doug Stone cite research linking feedback-seeking behavior to:
- Higher job satisfaction
- Greater creativity
- Faster adaptation in new roles
Even seeking negative feedback is associated with higher performance ratings. Who knew?
💎 Gem #3: “Don’t rely on formal reviews alone—find people who will tell it like it is.”
Preferably one or two folks who aren’t too close to you. Because yes, the personal stuff can quietly stall your career.
If you’re like me, you probably love feedback from people who already think you’re amazing. That’s fine—you need those people.
But you also need someone who will tell you the hard truths.
I once bombed during a virtual presentation. I’d been on Zoom nonstop during COVID, so I figured I had it down. I did not.
A friend shared some rather painful feedback from the client. It stung. But it also pushed me to learn how to keep a virtual audience engaged. And it paid off.
The next time I presented they showered me with roses.
OK, that didn’t actually happen.
But participants did tell us how beneficial they found the presentation to be.
Trust me: It’s easier to take hard feedback from a trusted source than to wonder why opportunities dry up.
💬 Take This With You
So there you go—three quick strategies you can try right now:
- Actively build your reputation for being coachable.
- Ask for feedback in a way that makes it easy to answer.
- Find a trusted truth-teller or two.
And the best part? You’ll see gains—not just in how others support you, but in how quickly you grow.
Because this time, it’s not about the attorneys.
It’s about you.
Monica Parker is the founder of Fluency at Work, where she helps law firms build feedback fluency and communication skills across all levels. A former practicing attorney, she brings 20+ years of experience as a coach, trainer, and trusted partner to law firm PD teams.